The Truth About Money Avoidance (And How to Shift It) / B016

A gentle, shame-free guide for the woman who feels scared to face her finances

If you’ve ever avoided opening the mail, delaying checking your bank account, or putting off looking at your numbers “until Monday”… you are not alone.

Money avoidance isn’t a character flaw.
It isn’t irresponsibility.
It isn’t a lack of intelligence.

Often, money avoidance is a protective response — an emotional shield your brain uses to keep you from feeling overwhelmed by shame, fear, or uncertainty.

Here’s the part no one tells you:

Avoidance isn’t the problem itself.
It’s a signal that you’re hurting.

Today, we’re approaching this with gentleness, honesty, and compassion — so you can start shifting out of avoidance without shame or pressure.

Why We Avoid Our Money

When I talk to women inside Financially Fearless Women, I hear the same sentence again and again:

“I’m afraid to look because I already feel like I’ve failed.”

Avoidance is almost always tied to the story we’re telling ourselves — something Brené Brown teaches so powerfully in Rising Strong.

Maybe your story sounds like:

• “I should have known better.”

• “I’ve messed everything up.”

• “If I look at the truth, it will confirm I’m too far behind.”

• “I’m scared of what I’ll find.”

Avoidance becomes emotional armor.
It protects you from reliving old wounds — shame, disappointment, exhaustion, grief, fear of repeating past mistakes.

And if you’ve lived through divorce, debt, financial upheaval, or a painful setback?

Your brain learned to brace for impact.

Avoidance became survival.

What Brené Brown Teaches Us About Avoidance

In Rising Strong, Brené Brown describes the moment we fall face-down in the arena — vulnerable, hurting, unsure. Instead of leaping up and pretending nothing happened, she urges us to get curious about the story beneath our emotions.

We all have stories like:

• “I’m bad with money.”

• “It’s too late for me.”

• “Other women figured this out — why haven’t I?”

These stories are not facts.
They are unexamined beliefs shaped by fear, exhaustion, and past experiences where you didn’t feel supported.

Money avoidance is simply the hiding place for those stories.

Brené teaches that real change starts with truth-telling with kindness:

“The most dangerous stories are the ones we don’t realize we’re telling.”

When you shine a light on the story beneath your avoidance, it loses its power.
You stop running.
You stop hiding.
You start rising.

Why Facing Your Finances Feels So Hard

If you’ve ever thought, “Why can’t I just do this?” — here’s why:

1. Avoidance protected you.

It allowed you to keep moving while carrying more than anyone realized.

2. You’ve been emotionally overloaded for years.

Your financial life is just one part of everything you hold — parenting, work, recovery, healing, starting over.

3. Most financial advice is harsh or shaming.

No wonder you shut down. You’ve never been taught how to approach your money gently.

4. You fear confirming your worst-case scenario.

Avoidance feels safer than uncertainty — even when the truth is usually far less scary than your imagination.

5. Money feels tied to your identity.

Looking at your numbers isn’t just about data. It’s about who you believe you are.

Avoidance doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
It means you’re tired — and in need of safety, not self-judgment.

A New Way Forward: Small, Fearless Steps

The opposite of money avoidance is not perfection.
It’s not a strict budget or a color-coded spreadsheet.

The opposite of avoidance is awareness — taken in tiny, compassionate steps.

Here’s how we begin to shift:

Step 1: Name the story you’re telling yourself.

Brené encourages us to begin with:

“The story I’m telling myself is…”

Try it with money:

• “The story I’m telling myself is that checking my account will prove I failed.”

• “The story I’m telling myself is that it’s too late for me.”

• “The story I’m telling myself is that I should already know how to do this.”

Naming the story breaks the emotional spell.

Step 2: Choose a 2-minute money moment.

Don’t overhaul your finances.
Don’t try to fix everything at once.

Start with something tiny:

• Open your bank app

• Gather the unopened mail

• Write down one bill

• Check your payday schedule

• Look at a single balance

Two minutes. That’s it.

Your nervous system needs to learn that money can be safe.

Step 3: Separate your numbers from your worth.

Numbers are information, not identity.

Your bank balance is not a reflection of your value.
Your debt is not a character flaw.
Your past is not your destiny.

You are allowed to begin again.

Step 4: Celebrate courage, not outcomes.

In Rising Strong, Brené says that courage is showing up when you cannot control the outcome.

Every small truth you face counts as courage.

Your financial healing is built in moments — not milestones.

Step 5: Build a gentle weekly rhythm.

Money becomes less scary when it becomes familiar.

Create a simple ritual:

• Light a candle

• Open your journal

• Review one small area

• Breathe

• Look at your numbers without judgment

Two minutes becomes five.
Five becomes ten.
Little by little, avoidance dissolves because safety grows.

The Truth You Need to Know

You are not behind.
You are not bad with money.
You are not the sum of your past mistakes.

Money avoidance is simply a sign that fear and shame have taken the driver’s seat — and today, you began taking it back.

This journey is not about perfection.
It is about bravery, clarity, and compassion.

You are becoming the woman who looks at her finances with confidence, calm, and strength.

One small, fearless step at a time.

Your Next Gentle Step

If this spoke to your heart, you’re ready for the Financially Fearless Roadmap — your free guide to understanding your numbers, organizing your finances, and taking your next brave step toward peace.

You don’t have to avoid your money another day.
You don’t have to do this alone.

Your new beginning starts here.

👉🏻  Download the Financially Fearless Roadmap