What to Do When You’re Avoiding Your Finances (Without Beating Yourself Up) / B072

There was a season of my life when I avoided my finances completely.

Not because I didn’t care.
Not because I was irresponsible.

But because I was afraid of what I might find.

I was scared that opening the numbers would confirm my worst fear — that I was “bad with money.” That I had dug myself into such a deep hole that there was no way out… or at least none I could see.

And if that was true, what could I even do about it?

So I didn’t look.

I avoided bank accounts.
I avoided bills.
I avoided conversations about money.

And underneath all of that avoidance lived something heavier than numbers:

Shame.
Embarrassment.
Fear that I had already ruined my future.

If you’re avoiding your finances right now, I want you to know this first:

You’re not lazy.
You’re not broken.
And you’re not failing.

You’re protecting yourself the only way you know how.

Why We Avoid Money (It’s Not What You Think)

Avoiding your finances doesn’t come from a lack of discipline.

It comes from fear.

Fear of:

• what the numbers might say about you
  
  
• confirming mistakes you wish you could undo
  
  
• feeling overwhelmed with no clear solution
  
  
• proving a story you’ve quietly told yourself: “I should know better by now.”
  
  

For a long time, I believed that if I didn’t look, I could at least avoid the pain.

But here’s what I eventually learned:

Avoidance doesn’t protect us — it just delays clarity.

And clarity is the only place change can begin.

The Shift That Changed Everything for Me

The turning point wasn’t a budget.
It wasn’t a spreadsheet.
It wasn’t a perfect plan.

It was this realization:

My past did not have to equal my future.

I couldn’t fix what I hadn’t clearly identified — but that didn’t mean what I found would define me forever.

I also had to remind myself of something I had never been taught to believe:

I was doing the best I could at the time — with the information, capacity, and emotional energy I had then.

A quote by Maya Angelou anchored me during this season:

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

That sentence gave me permission to stop punishing myself and start moving forward.

If You’re Avoiding Your Finances Right Now, Start Here

You don’t need to fix everything.
You don’t need to be brave.
You don’t need to have it all figured out.

You just need one small, compassionate step.

Here are a few gentle ways to begin — without shame:

Separate facts from identity

Your numbers are information — not a judgment of your worth.
They don’t say who you are.
They simply show where you are right now.

Replace judgment with curiosity

Instead of asking, “How did I mess this up?”
Try asking, “What do these numbers want to show me?”

Let clarity be an act of self-respect

Looking isn’t about fixing today.
It’s about telling yourself: “I deserve to know the truth kindly.”

Take one tiny action — and stop

Check one account.
Open one statement.
Write down one number.

Then pause.

You don’t need momentum — you need safety.

This Is a Starting Place — Not a One-Time Read

This post is one of the January anchor reflections here at Financially Fearless Women.

Throughout the month, I’ll be sharing daily questions that gently build on the ideas in this post — small prompts designed to help you notice patterns, release shame, and take one step at a time.

You don’t need to answer every question.
You don’t need to keep up.
You don’t need to do this perfectly.

If a daily question brings you back here, that’s intentional.

This post is meant to be a place you can return to — a grounding point when avoidance shows up, or when you need a reminder that clarity can be kind.

If You Want a Gentle Way to Begin

If avoiding your finances feels heavy, you don’t need a full plan today.

The Financially Fearless Roadmap was created for this exact moment — when you know something needs to change, but you don’t want to feel overwhelmed, rushed, or judged.

It’s a calm, step-by-step starting place that helps you:

• see your situation clearly (without shame),
  
  
• take one small, steady step at a time,
  
  
• and begin rebuilding trust in yourself with money.
  
  

There’s no pressure to fix everything.

Just a clear place to begin — when you’re ready.

👉🏻 Start with the Financially Fearless Roadmap

A Gentle Reminder Before You Go

Avoiding your finances doesn’t mean you’ve failed.

It means you’re human.
It means you’ve been carrying more than anyone can see.
It means you care — deeply.

You are allowed to begin again.
You are allowed to go slowly.
You are allowed to meet your finances with compassion instead of punishment.

And most importantly:

Your future is not locked in by your past.

Clarity is not something to fear — it’s something to trust.